I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
