a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
