if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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