I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
