If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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