My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i love accidental penises.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I'm really busy with my period
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