great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
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You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
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And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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