does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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