they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
