I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We are all done wearing pants today
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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