He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize