Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
