She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
