I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
