I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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