..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
