the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
