Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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