Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Well apparently he's into motor boating.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

followup question: what if both somones were me?

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(248): View more from Michigan

I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I just found puke in my bra..

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(805): View more from California

He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.

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(770): View more from Georgia

You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.

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(515): View more from Iowa

We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place

(1-515): View more from Iowa

I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there

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(519): View more from Ontario

If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.

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