I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
