I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
God, I missed his penis.
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