Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
