i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
