it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
