I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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