I'm eating all of the evidence.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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