A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
