I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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