Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
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