So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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