I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
