I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
