i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize
