Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
