I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
