did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
