and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
