took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
