there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
