Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Floor bacon is actually really good
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
