I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i wish my penis had a tongue
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize