My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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