capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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