I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
