I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
