I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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