You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
