after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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