i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
