For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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