Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
