i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
