my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Less talking, more tequila
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
