Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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