what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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