And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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