I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
