Say something about gay babies.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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